God, freelance journalism can be a lonely beast. You probably think that I like that. You’ve seen me, seen that I’m a lonely beast, and thought that I’m well-suited to a job that is also a lonely beast. You’ve definitely thought that, haven’t you? It’s okay, you can tell me, I don’t mind. Well, if you were to tell me that you’d thought that, you’d only be half right. Sure, I do like to suffocate in my self-imposed isolation now and again, but I also like to get out and do things. What things, I don’t know. Drink, perhaps. Meet people, sometimes. Bark and curse at the clouds, always.
Anyway, we’re getting away from the point. The point is that it’s often a lonely life and I’ve been thinking about making it less lonely. It’s also a life where you grow to despise everything about the sending and receiving of emails, and I’ve been thinking about making a change there, too. With those things in mind, earlier this afternoon I wrote to seven or eight editors and features editors of magazines asking to meet me in person to pitch, rather than going through the whole character-draining process through email. Here’s what I wrote:
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To: Seven or Eight Eds and Features Eds
From: Pitching the World
Subject: This email is not from Friends Reunited
Dear Ed,
This email may not be pretty. For a start, I’ve grown to hate emails: far too much of my time is taken up writing, sending, receiving, reading, replying to and waiting for emails (I realise there’s some overlap there, and some things that don’t really ring true. Does receiving an email take time, for instance?) and most of that time is spent in abject disappointment, if not abject terror. This is a problem. It is a problem because I am trying to pitch feature ideas to all of the 642 magazines listed in the Writers’ & Artists’ Yearbook for a book about journalism that I am working on, and the main method of communicating with editors is through email.
That’s enough about emails though, isn’t it? Yes, more than enough. What I’d like to suggest is meeting you in person to pitch one or two feature ideas, rather than do it through email. I understand that may sound entirely bold and ridiculous, but if you had to pitch 642 magazines for a bone-headed project, you’d probably sound entirely bold and ridiculous too. What are my chances, though? Are you receptive to meeting journalists face-to-face? I promise not to take up too much of your time and I’ll come armed with ideas. I’ve worked for perhaps twenty editors in my time as a freelancer and of the three I’ve met in person – Martin Deeson at Square Mile/Hedge; Joe Barnes now at FHM; and Ryan Debique of a now defunct property magazine – I’ve gone on to do a fair amount of work for them over the years.
I look forward to refreshing my email 80 times this afternoon and being disappointed when the only emails I receive are from Friends Reunited, Firezza and National Express Coaches respectively.
Seriously though, all the best and it would be lovely to hear from you. Perhaps unsurprisingly, I’m free to meet all next week.
Steve
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Did you notice my hilarious subject line? I did, and found it hilarious. The rest – well, perfunctory comes to mind. But fuck it. You know, in another way, fuck it. I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how I tend to offer very slender advice about actual journalism and pitching and saw this letter as going some way towards rectifying that. It’s something that not often comes up: HOW to pitch to editors. Most freelancers just email. Few phone. Fewer still write ever-so-slightly withering emails asking to meet and pitch in person.
Worth a shot, though. Within seconds of pinging that email off to Gay Times, I got the following response.
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To: Pitching the World
From: Darren Scott, Editor.
Subject: This email is not from Friends Reunited
Fine, come in next Friday then. The coffee here is crap, just to warn you.
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So fine, I will go in next Friday, then. And although I’m not yet armed with ideas, I will be by the time I’m drinking crap coffee with Darren.
What else has happened? Let me tell you in a bit, but let’s break things up with a picture of a cup of coffee. No, actually, with a picture of someone picking some coffee beans.
Coffee, earlier.
I actually plumped for a cup of coffee in the end. Partly it was a stalling tactic. Darren, I’m afraid, is the only editor to have replied to me so far. This is the thing with emails – or, at least, the thing with my emails – unless something happens more or less immediately, I think it never will. This is because it never will.
More editors will reply though, just you watch. There will certainly be an adjunct to this post. If any editors or similar happen to be reading this nonsense and want me to pitch in person, then please get in touch at pitchingtheworld*at*hotmail.com. We could even go for lunch. I’ll pay. I better warn you though, I like to pay alone while you’re hanging around outside for me, and I like to go for a run down the street after paying. Just so you know.
ADJUNCT. Who doesn’t love an adjunct? No one, that’s who. I’ve just received this. This has made me not want to give up. In fact, I feel pitching in the flesh is not only the right path to take, but it’s the only path to take.
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To: Pitching the World
From: Redacted
Subject: This email is not from Friends Reunited
Hello mate
Pitching the World 