Getting Stuff

It’s been a while. Since you last heard from me, I’ve managed to get out of Dubai, get into London and get a job. I’ve also managed to get a flat, for free, for six months. I’m about to get paid. Oh, I’m all about getting stuff these days. You should see me get stuff. I might even get laid soon. I might even get to show one lucky woman how terrible I am in bed.

But not everything I’ve got has been good. I’ve got a bit madder and I’ve got ill. My first thought was that this was bad: getting madder and ill, I thought, is not what I want to be getting – I want to be getting other stuff. But then on my way into London to get to my new job this morning – my flat, for free, for six months is in Surrey – I realised that I wasn’t alone and that everyone has been getting ill. My train carriage was full of people coughing, snivelling, wheezing and having heart attacks and mini-fits and aneurisms and strokes and all sorts of other stuff and I realised that everyone travelling from Surrey to London at eight-something in the morning is either ill or mad and working in ill and mad jobs in an ill and mad city. When I realised this – when I started getting this – I felt strangely comforted.

What does this have to do with pitching? Well, nothing. Well, a bit. Because this morning as I was looking through the Writers’ & Artists’ Yearbook – for the first time in about five months – I realised that getting madder and ill is precisely what I need to get in order to pitch to the likes of Park Home & Holiday Caravan and Picture Postcard Monthly and Pensions World and if anything I need to get madder and iller.

Any ideas on how to achieve this, please let me know.