Coming soon: The Adventures of Pitching the World. Below is a sneak preview of the hilarious comic strip based on the life of a failing writer. Also starring Dr Mrs Pitching the World, Bingo, Alan and Boz.
Disclaimer: this is in no way a desperate attempt to claw back some readers and to dodge the business of writing. And while we’re at it, it didn’t take me three hours to knock up the picture below and it isn’t nearly four o’clock in the fucking morning.
Pitching the World 
If anyone knows how to do speech bubbles, then please let me know. Otherwise The Adventures etc. is going to be a rather boring – as well as a poorly drawn – hilarious comic strip.
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Who knew your wife was such a massive, angry pork fuck? (I did)
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Are my shoulders really that wide?
Look I have done a cartoon as well:
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Once again, you’ve been out-done by your wife. This is what you get for drawing her as an angry porker. I DREAD to think what I’ll come out like when you never get around to doing a comic with me in it.
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Inspired by Pat Healy in There’s Something About Mary? Glad to know you’re thinking about who will play you in the film. The Hollywood version that makes millions………
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Hi,
I am a famous Hollywood producer and celebrity maker. I came across your work while randomly searching for undiscovered talent on google. I was wondering If youd be willing to surrender the legal rights for a wad of cash? Are you into acting as well?
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Chaz, if that is indeed your real name and you really are a Hollywood producer (and I strongly suspect that it is and you are), I don’t need a wad of cash for the legal rights. A sleeve of Camel lights and a carton of wine should do it.
And while we’re at it – and we are at it – why not subscribe to the hilarious adventures of Pitching the World and join the 13 other lucky people who get this toss as soon as it comes out? It’s on the right somewhere. Ta.
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A sleeve of Camel lights and a carton of wine coming up!
Heard that someone is already shooting your life story…
Where next? Have you considered the Orwell Prize?
http://www.theorwellprize.co.uk/home.aspx
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Have I considered the Orwell Prize? I’m all over it. Particularly liked:
The judges ask only that ‘writing must be of a kind that is aimed at or accessible to the public, and submissions will be judged equally for the excellence of their style and the originality of their content’.
There’s no way I won’t be winning it.
And yes, someone has already filmed my life story. If we ask Camera Bird nicely, maybe we can get a sneak preview of it up here.
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