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What I’ve been up to lately
- Freelance journalism vs freelance copywriting: which is best? (The case for journalism.)
- Pitching The Guardian
- What’s this? An actual pitch? To the actual Drum?
- I am an Amazon best-selling author
- The Secret
- Why I stopped working for Alexander Nix: Part Three
- Why I stopped working for Alexander Nix: Part One.
- Bear Necessities, revisited.
- Monday Afternoon Fuck Club
- This is Forty
Through the ages
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What I’ve learnt about journalism since the inception of Pitching the World on September 24th, 2009
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Pitching the World 
And what readers have learnt:
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Wow. If only you were getting paid 40p a word for those nuggets of wisdom 🙂
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It’s not really about pitching. It’s about who you know. So, instead of pitching, learn how to become a real greaseball so you can suck up to all those self important media dickheads.
Then you’ll get lots of commissions without the pitching.
That’s why the media is full of complete crap written by moronic, talentless idiots who just happen to be in the luvvie loop of having the right connections.
Daisy Waugh springs to mind as a good example of a completely talentless twit who only gets to write a regular and spectacularly mindless and boring column for the Telegraph, or is it the Times mag, because her dad or grandpa or someone happened t0 be a genuine writer, possibly with some talent; although that is open to debate.
But at least they got there on merit which is more than dear Daisy did.
As most of the media content is written by similar people, it explains why is has become increasingly dull and unreadable.
When you understand this properly, you will appreciate why pitching is such a bore – because commissions do not depend on merit at all.
Instead, they depend on far up peoples arse you manage to get.
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You’re quite right (in parts) Boz, and even when you’re not right (in parts), anyone who uses the phrase ‘a real greaseball’ is alright by me. ‘Self important media dickheads’ wasn’t bad either.
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Pitchy, for out next run of promotional t-shirts, I was thinking we could hire out a baseball outfit and get camera bird to take some exciting (maybe even a little x-rated) snaps of you halfway through hurling, or ‘pitching’ a tennis ball that I’ve been colouring in blue and green with felt-tips (I’m halfway through Asia, but the yellow keeps coming through), so that it looks like a ‘world’.
You’re going to need to work on an expression that makes it look like you’re ‘pitching’ a ‘world’ of pain at some ‘Self important media dickheads’. We can do some with your bum out for the ladies/Boz, too.
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Nice t-shirt idea Alan: would be even better if the baseball that Pitchy was pitching was returned and aiming straight at your head.
Boz: wicked post. Particularly enjoyed:
Instead, they depend on far up peoples arse you manage to get.
Far out. Collective arse
PTW: things seem to be picking up round here. You okay?
Boundarse: Is it your collective arse Boz is trying to get far up?
Bingo: Are you a complete twat?
Bartholomew: Yes.
Camera Bird: Are you porking yet?
Radical.
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Uh Oh, lock up your daughters, Bingo’s been on the whiskey again.
I’m not sure where this Alan-based aggression comes from, Bing, but I can ONLY imagine it’s because you’ve got a massive head and a little willy, like a melon looking forlornly at a matchstick.
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