Raw Deal

Payments are late. Emails are ignored. Budgets are being slashed. I’m pissing non-piss coloured piss and going mad. And yet – check me out – I’m as enthusiastic as I’ve ever been. Today saw the most weighty and time-consuming pitch to date. I’m a second or two away from emailing FourFourTwo and World Soccer with an idea that, quite frankly, is a reasonable indication of my mental state.

Check me out. This afternoon I emailed each of the 92 football league clubs asking for trials. The writing and research took four solid hours and nine cigarettes. So far, eleven clubs have replied. What they’ve replied is firmly in the shadows as I’m too brittle to read them. I’ll wait and see if some of the rest reply before I (check me out) tackle them.

I’d like to say something about the state of football and the relationship between clubs and fans. I’d also like so say something about me having trials for a club and becoming a footballer in my twilight years. I’d like to say a bunch of other stuff too, but I don’t really know what yet (check me out) and even if I did, I’m too drunk to articulate it.

How do you think the pitching the world experiment is going so far by the way? It’s poor, I know. But it could well get better, especially if I can summon up the strength to put the effort into each subsequent pitch that I put in today. 

Thanks you’re welcome goodnight.